Recent Quips From Late Night

"Momentum continues for Barack Obama's campaign. Actually, do you know what Barack Obama's middle name is? Hussein. Could've been worse. Could've been Kerry." --Jay Leno "Today at the White House, President Bush signed a deal that would send nuclear fuel to India. When asked about the Indian deal, President Bush said it's the least we can do after stealing your land." --Conan O'Brien
"There might be a few similarities between Iraq and Vietnam. For one thing, both wars prove that John Kerry is a coward. But there is a difference. ... Vietnam's anti-war movement was so unbearably strident that many Americans hated hippies even more than they hated the war. The result? They became Republicans." --Stephen Colbert "
This California company that was charged to build this stupid fence along the border of Mexico has been charged with hiring illegal immigrants. ... Prosecutors say this is the worst case of irony they have ever seen." --Jay Leno
"Senator Hillary Clinton was asked about President Bush and she said, 'I'm not going to believe this president again.' Yeah, Hillary said, to be fair, I stopped believing presidents ten years ago. Apparently she had a bad experience." --Conan O'Brien
"On Monday, President Bush sought advice on Iraq from senior state department officials, historians and former generals. When the President asked why everyone was so quiet, an aide informed him that he was standing next to the White House nativity scene." --Amy Poehler

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