Apr 24, 2008

life explained ... again

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
Sent to me in my email :)

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Vice said...

Hell, that explains a lot! Thanks for clearing that up. Only problem though is I think I might be ahead of my time a little. I eat and sleep a lot, I'm still toiling away at work, but I seem to be barking a lot to the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn and I'm not even close (I hope) to the last ten years of my life!
I want a do-over!

Carol said...

LOL@Vice - stop yelling at the kids it won't work anyway. If you get a do-over then I want one too!

BillyWarhol said...


Awesome Joke Carol!! + boy can i ever relate!! I did go out + Party Hearty last weekend in Detroit + mano mano am i ever paying for it!!

;)) Peace*

Carol said...

You partied without me Billy - now that's just wrong :::wink:::

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Carol,

God is pretty tricky isn't he?

If I were asked, I'd want my life reversed. Born at 80 years old and traveling all over until I'm 60; then be given a retirement party by my friends and officemates. After this I'd be working till I'm about 22 where I'll be taking my kids to college, watching my wife give birth to them, going on my honeymoon, getting married, and having all the drinks and the sex in college - in that order. Then I'll be going to discos and the prom and go to summer camps and play with small kids on a sandbox.

Can you imagine what death will be like? I will go into the great beyond in one blazing burst of orgasm! Wow, what a life! :-) --Durano, done!

Carol said...

Hi Durano,
I defenitely like your way better :)